She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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