I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
