i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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