new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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