Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
