i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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