Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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