atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
