It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
