this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
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