dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
