Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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