i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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