I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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