i don't like sucking hair
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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