Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
