yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
