God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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