Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
