you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
