And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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