Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
