A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
