Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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