What a fucking waste of an outfit
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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