He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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