Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
