You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Randomize