omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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