I molested 6 butterflies tonight
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
