So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
