found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Randomize
