You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
