He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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