Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
