saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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