you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
