Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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