Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
that may or may not have been my penis.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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