You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
