You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
