hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
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