Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
