Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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