i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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