so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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