I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
