her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
