I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
