return my video game
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
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