Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
How does one acquire holy water?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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