i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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