Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
