If i come over, it means nothing
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
