wakey wakey hands off snakey
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
